When you were younger, your parents may have told you “Never say you hate someone! It’s a strong word!” After that you apologise, run upstairs and express your dislike for this person in your room.
As you grow older, that may translate to hating people that have been mean to you, various celebrities who don’t ‘deserve their fame’ and politicians you hear about on the news. It may seem absurd to think that people actually hate these people but you’d be just as surprised as me. The same goes for disliking people for small, pointless things.
Hatred is an unnecessary source of frustration, anger and even disappointment. It’s something that we would be better off without and on a path to being happier and more content with ourselves. When we hate someone, we are taking time out of our day to worsen our own well being by expressing the intense dislike that we have of that person.
By expressing your hatred of someone you’re giving them permission to occupy your thoughts and make you focus on a negative part of your life.
Are they worth it?
Getting rid of hatred is something that’s helped me direct my attention towards becoming more positive. Instead of saying how much I dislike one person for a certain action, I’d just forget about them. If someone asks me about what I think about them, my answer tends to be neutral and short.
They don’t deserve to occupy my thoughts and prevent me from enjoying the positive parts of my life.
The same is applicable to the dislike we have of popular celebrities. The chances are that they did nothing to you and you simply dislike their fans. No one is forcing you to watch their shows or listen to their music. Or focus on their fans for that matter.
How to stop focusing on negative emotions
Ask yourself two questions:
- Why do I hate/dislike this person?
- Is it worth my time and energy?
Most of the time, you don’t need to hate them and if you do hate them, they probably aren’t worth the attention you currently give them. Solution? Stop wasting your time and focus on other things. You’ll feel much calmer overall.
Holding onto anger, hatred and resentment for other people hurts yourself more than the other person.
However, if you find yourself getting angry at One Direction on TV – go for a walk.
I know that I ended this post saying that holding onto anger is bad but I don’t think screaming into pillows and squeezing stress balls isn’t the best way to handle it either. I’ll focus on that in another post!
I’d be interested in hearing your opinions about this. Getting rid of these negative feelings towards others is a small thing that’s helped me. Do you find yourself disliking or even hating other people?