I tried cooking my sister

I found the small stool I used to reach the sink when I brush my teeth and placed it down in front of me. I could now reach everything I needed. The fiery circles mum puts the pots on, the big wooden spoons and carrots. I climbed on top of the counter and put everything I needed in front of me.

Then I saw her. She thought smiling and kicking her feet would change her fate but not today. She took all of mum’s attention by screaming and crying whenever she felt like it. I no longer had story time because mum was too tired from looking after her all day. She also got more presents than me last Christmas.

Today that would all change.

I tried to make the fiery circles work. I didn’t know all of the dials and buttons mum used to make it work. It looked like a spaceship and I didn’t have any training for that so I had to find another way to complete my plan.

I walked over to my sister and tried to pick her up. I thought babies were meant to be small? Carrying her felt like the holding all my school books at once. I didn’t want to hurt her so I put her down and she stumbled her way into the kitchen.

I opened the oven and she gleefully climbed in. I put the carrots in for flavour since that’s what happens in all the movies and waited.

My mum warned me against having cookies when she wasn’t around but she was sleeping this time – so it was kind of ok, right? I thought so. I climbed onto the counter and tried opening the cupboard where she kept them but the worst thing possible happened. They fell onto the floor.

She shot up from her bed, rushed downstairs and caught me staring at the cookie jar that was smashed to pieces. I tried running past her but she blocked the doorway and asked me where my sister was.

My plan was falling apart.

After she took my sister out of the oven, I ran upstairs to hide under the covers in the hope that she’d forget about everything. She didn’t.

I expected to hear “You’re grounded forever!” or “You’re never allowed to eat in this house again!” Instead she walked into my room and said:

“You didn’t turn the oven on.”

I wasn’t allowed any cookies for a whole week.

***

26/08/13: This also relates to a daily prompt :) However, I’m not sure I would call myself a comedian.

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